The Withers Family: 2009 year in review: a good place to start (Part One)

Look out blogosphere, here I come! So I decided to start a family blog for several reasons. First, it's a great way to share photos and stories with our far-flung friends and family. Second, it's an easy way for us to document these crazy baby/toddler years when time is at a premium. Third and perhaps most important, it's a tool for me to communicate in a reasonably adult manner and keep a tight hold on my sanity while I'm at home with the kiddos. Plus, I think it will be fun!

So where to start the Withers Family Blog? Well, 2009 was a life-changing year for us and is actually where the true Withers Family started. I do believe that you must respect the past to appreciate the future, so let's take a moment (or two or three) to review 2009.

As 2008 closed and 2009 began, the economy in Michigan had taken a big nosedive. I was forced to close the title insurance office I managed and lay off my staff. I was fortunate enough to keep my job with the condition that I commute to an office in Grand Rapids (55 miles away.) Yuck. At the same time, Nathan was frustrated with the management of his firm and could see the writing on the wall that hard times were ahead for them. On the homefront, we were anxiously awaiting word of being matched with a baby from South Korea. At that point we had been "on the list" for a referral for 14 months.

JANUARY
01/08/09: A very snowy day that began as any other until about 8:15am when the phone rang and we heard our social worker give us the news we'd been waiting so long for. Our number was up; it was time to meet our baby (on paper, at least!) We were thrilled to receive the referral of a then-5-month-old little boy who looked like an angel. It was so exciting to finally know who was coming home to us . . . . . .a precious little boy we would name Noah.

The first glimpse of our son . . . . . . .Noah's referral picture

FEBRUARY
In February, we were blessed to have our Kalamazoo family and friends come together for a great baby shower. Good food, generous gifts, and the first ever game of Withers Family Trivia. What a great day! Also in February, Nathan celebrated his 32nd birthday.

MARCH
March was a doozy for us. Nathan had been quietly looking for a new job for several months and finally found the right fit. He left the architecture firm he'd been with for nearly 8 years and began working with Secant Technologies, a technology company that was actually a consultant to the firm he'd come from. As Nathan puts it, he went from being the tech guy at an architecture firm to being the CAD guy at a tech firm. The timing was perfect and Nathan is very happy there.

The same week Nathan changed jobs, I started feeling ill. I had what I thought were normal female complaints during work one Thursday afternoon. That evening, the pain got worse and I knew something was wrong. Late that night I finally asked Nathan to take me to the hospital to find out what was going on. To our utter disbelief, we found out after a few quick tests that I was pregnant. What a range of emotion that news brought on! First there was shock that we could get pregnant on our own after years of struggling with fertility. After the initial shock was fear because the doctors determined very quickly that something was wrong with my pregnancy and that was what was causing my pain. More tests and several hours later, we learned that the pregnancy was ectopic (located in my fallopian tube rather than my uterus.) What was worse was that the embryo had ruptured my tube and I was bleeding internally. I had emergency surgery early that morning to remove not only the pregnancy, but also my right fallopian tube. I recovered well, but we were left with many questions about the state of our fertility and had no idea what the prognosis would be.

Also in late March, we were very excited to see Nathan's youngest brother Andy get married. His wife Amanda is fantastic and I for one am so glad to have another girl in the family. That same weekend, our Indiana friends and family came together for another baby shower. We are truly blessed with amazing, supportive folks around us.

Andy and Amanda on their wedding day

APRIL
April was spent healing from the ectopic pregnancy and waiting for more news about Noah. We had been told that the wait time from referral to travel was 4-6 months, so April was the beginning of that window. We were anxiously searching for any news from our adoption agency or the various government offices involved as to the status of Noah's travel documents, visa, medical updates, and travel date. The wait was nearly unbearable. I can't speak for Nathan, but I found myself getting very depressed and anxious, particularly during my hour long commute (each way) every day. We should have passed the time writing thank you notes to everyone for our shower gifts. Instead, we burrowed deep into ourselves and our home and didn't really see or talk to anyone for quite a while. (Note to all of you who gave us such wonderful shower gifts: We are incredibly grateful, even if we didn't take the time to send you a card.)

MAY
If the wait in April was bad, May was infinitely worse. Every day was awful; waiting for news about Noah's homecoming and having absolutely no control over when it would be. I had really hoped to have Noah home in time to celebrate my first Mother's Day, but that day came and went like any other. Work was pure drudgery. By the end of the month, we knew we had to be getting close to having Noah home for good, so I left work and began my family leave.

JUNE (part one)
06/05/09: Finally we received the news we were so anxious to get! Noah would be coming home on United Air's flight 256 to O'Hare airport on Thursday night, June 11, 2009. Those final few days of waiting and preparing are now a blur. I can honestly say that I have no idea what we did for those 6 days!
06/11/09: NOAH'S HOMECOMING DAY! Noah's flight wasn't due to land until nearly midnight, so our caravan of family and friends didn't leave Kalamazoo until about 7PM. We were excited, we were anxious, and we were scared. Once we arrived at the airport, we camped out near claim #11 where the baggage from UA256 was expected to be. I was cool as a cucumber until I saw on the screen that the flight had landed and the passengers deplaned. I knew my son was in the building and I think those last few minutes of waiting just about killed me. I stopped a woman who was walking down the concourse and asked her if she was on flight 256 from Denver. She answered yes, so I asked her if there was a beautiful Korean boy on the plane. Her eyes got big and she exclaimed, "Oh my - you're his mother!" She then spent a few minutes telling us how she sat next to Noah and his escort as they waited to board the plane in Denver and how well behaved be was on the flight. I never caught this woman's name, but she gave us a great story and made the last few minutes of waiting for Noah very special for us. She was nearly as excited as we were and stayed close by to watch our first meeting with Noah.

The last few minutes waiting for Noah

Finally we saw Noah and his escort walking down the long concourse toward us. I'm pretty certain that is the longest stretch of walkway I've ever seen. I'm also certain that Noah's escort had the slowest walk of anyone I'd ever seen. Didn't she know how long we'd been waiting to meet this little boy? For heaven's sake, couldn't she move just a little faster??? :-)

Noah and his escort's LONG SLOW WALK down the concourse to us

Well, Noah did finally make it to us and I can't put in to words how remarkably cool it was when the escort handed him to me. It is such an overwhelming experience. No hospital, no physical pain, yet here we are a family of 3. I will admit that it is pretty weird to go to the airport and bring home a kid. Amazing, but weird. A little like an out-of-body experience, I think. That was one of our best days and I'm thankful that we had family and close friends with us to share it with.