Waiting on Ben . . .

Everybody's asking, everybody's wondering . . . . . . . where is Ben??? Here's the scoop. We thought he would be home before the end of 2010. We submitted our paperwork in August and expected to meet Ben in November or December (obviously that didn't happen!). We were thrown a big curve-ball in August when the Korean ministry which processes the paperwork basically shut down unexpectedly for the year. It is so frustrating to wait when you don't know how long the wait will be - and there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to make it any shorter. Sometimes bureaucracy really stinks!



The extra months added to our wait have been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing in that it has given us extra time we didn't expect to be a family of 4 with Noah and Eli. It was nice to enjoy a quiet Christmas at home with our two boys - something we'll be able to look back on in years to come and say, "Here's the Christmas when we were waiting on Ben." It's given me more time to get used to the idea of being a mom to three boys under 3 years of age. I'm still scared to death, but faith in God and the love of my husband and family have gotten me this far, so I guess we'll just stick with it!



This extra time hasn't been easy, of course. I'll admit that it was incredibly difficult not to have Ben home for his first birthday. My heart aches when I think of the parts, the milestones, of Ben's life that we've missed. That ache is especially sharp when I compare Eli's life to Ben's. I know, I know, comparing two different little boys is probably a bad habit that I should break, but I think it's natural to look at Eli (who is only THREE DAYS younger than Ben) and wonder, "What's Ben doing today? Can he walk yet? Does he like bananas as much as Eli? Does he make silly faces like Eli does? Is he EVER going to come home so these three brothers can play together?"



My days are busy of course - Noah and Eli make sure of that! I just get this feeling of stalling out, no forward motion, no progress being made. It's hard to stay positive.  It feels like the wait is going to drag on forever and we're just going to be stuck in this sad cycle of waiting. It's hard to find the motivation to do anything - like housework, long-awaited projects, or blogging. I won't allow the wait to ruin the time we have now or prevent us from living our lives "in the now" though. I take such joy in Noah and Eli and the way they grow and learn and oh my goodness do they make me laugh! Our days are happy, but there's always a shadow.  So many thoughts, so many questions, so many depressed, dark times, waiting. Just waiting on Ben . . . .



There is hope! The beginning of 2011 has brought good news. The Korean ministry has reopened and begun processing paperwork, and ours is already approved! We're running out of steps left in this crazy process, so we expect Ben to be home SOON! Hopefully in just a few weeks. Nathan's birthday is February 18th . . . . . maybe Ben will be the best birthday present ever!

Photo Album: ELI'S FIRST BIRTHDAY

 So big!!!

 Mama & Daddy with the birthday boy

Our family of four

One and WALKING!

Presents!

Tissue Paper!

What is it???

Noah wants to help

"Put it together, Daddy!"

Mmmm . . . .this Cookie is good!

 Noah gets to play, too

Elmo cupcakes!!!

Happy birthday to you!

He was fine until we sang "Happy birthday, dear Eli"  

He thought we were yelling at him when we sang his name!

Three cupcakes, all to himself

He starts to dig in . . . 

Nom nom nom!!!

Frosting fingers!

Mmmmmmmm!

Noah got in on the cupcake action, too

Still going. . . 

Getting into the blue one now - I love his little blue beard!

 

Almost done!

Oooohhhhhhh!!!

Smiley, happy, birthday boy

"I can't believe I ate the WHOLE thing!"

 Splish splash, gettin' cleaned up

Somebody turned the tub water PINK!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELI!!!!!

Eli is ONE!!!!

Holy cow, I can't believe Eli is already one.   
Time flies!  He is such a happy, funny, stubborn, adorable kid. He started walking a few weeks before his birthday and now he's going non-stop!  We're working with him to learn some words - he can sign "more" and "all done" when he's at the table.  He also just started waving and saying, "Bye-bye."  He'll say "Dada" and point to Nathan, but we haven't heard him say "Mama" yet.  Although he will point to me when you ask him where I am.  He loves to look out windows, but he hates to put his snowsuit on to go outside.  He and Noah play pretty well together, although Noah does have a hard time keeping his hands to himself sometimes.  Noah loves to put toys on Eli's head.  (Why is that?  I just don't get it!)  The boys love to have dance parties with Daddy in the living room.  They love to watch Elmo together.  They love to splash together in the bathtub.  Eli hates to have his diaper changed and he bangs his head on things on purpose.  (It seems like he perpetually has a bruise in the middle of his forehead!)  He's learned (and become an expert) at throwing tantrums when things don't go his way.  (Usually when Noah takes whatever toy he was playing with.)  He loves the sounds of his own voice so he screeches all the time.  Loudly.  Especially in the grocery store.  *sigh*

Thankfully Eli is a very good sleeper.  He goes down at night without a word.  He usually wakes up once during the night because he can't find his pacifier.  (Bedtime is the only time he takes one anymore - hooray!)  He's down to one nap a day in the afternoon.  He eats like a horse (usually more than Noah does!)  He loves to snuggle.  He gets really excited when Mom or Dad come home.  He loves to jump . . . . . in his bed, on the floor, in your arms . . . . the kid seriously loves to JUMP!  He's also become a big fan of kicking.  He and Noah will sit on the floor and kick over and over and over just as fast as they can, giggling the whole time.  It's so funny!

Before I forget, here are Eli's stats from his 12 month checkup.

Weight: 22#  4 oz.  (25th-50th%)

Height:  30 inches  (90th%)

He continues to be one long & lean little man!

COMING SOON:  Photos & highlights from Eli's birthday party!

Momma's Got a Brand New Bag

So last summer, after we were mostly settled with Eli, I decided that I wanted to do "something."  Something to get me out of the house, enjoy the company of people over the age of 2, and maybe make a little extra cash.  I did a little research and decided to become a Design Consultant for

Maddy Moo Creations

What the heck is Maddy Moo?  It's a design-your-own custom handbag and accessory company.  I do home parties, catalog shows, personal sales, and online orders.  I went to a Maddy Moo show at a friend's house a few years ago and really liked their set-up.  I love that everything is custom-made (in the USA!) and DESIGNED BY YOU.  No cookie-cutter orders.  Each thing is unique, just the way you want it to be.  I have so much fun with it!  I'm thinking of having Nathan help me build a website for my company - and maybe even doing a separate blog for it - but until then, I thought I'd share some pics of my favorite bags.

I'll certainly post more about Maddy Moo soon.  I just wanted to get "something" started!  If anyone would like to make my day and host a party, PLEASE let me know.  I'd love to do it!

Oh Christmas Tree . . . .

*this is a post I wanted to share during the holidays that I just didn't get around to.  It's been on my mind lately, so even though it's off-season, I still wanted to put it out there!

Some Christmas trees are formal - almost too pretty to touch

Some Christmas trees are "themed" - a great idea, but too much work for me!

Some Christmas trees are plain and simple - and beautiful in their own way

Some Christmas trees are funny or silly - that's a good fit for some people, but mine needs more heart

Our Christmas tree is like none of these - or maybe it has a little bit of each of them.  Nothing on our tree matches, but each ornament has a different memory attached.  Most of the memories are great ones, but there are a few bittersweet ones, too.  After we decorated ours this year (with all the soft/non-breakable/kid-friendly ones on the bottom, of course!) I snapped a few photos to share some of our tree's memories with you.

Mr. & Mrs. Claus

Nathan and I bought this one on our honeymoon!

Green Clown

This is one from my childhood.  My mom bought 2 clowns - one green and one blue for my brother and I.  You can't imagine the fights Ethan and I used to have about who's was who's.  (I got the better one!)

Needlepoint Stocking

This one is from Nathan's childhood.  He made several needlepoint ornaments with his great-grandmother.  This one is great - it's a good one to share with our boys now because they can't break it!!!

Porcelain Angel

This is my favorite.  This was our tree topper when I was very young.  It was always my job to brush her hair and "fluff her up" before we would put her on the tree.  She's too old and fragile to sit on top now, so she gets nestled in the branches.

Santa Stitch

Nate and I bought this one as a souvenir of our trip to Disney World in 2005.  We love the movie "Lilo and Stitch" -  and now it's one of Noah's favorites, too.  He had a very hard time keeping his hands off of this one!

Crescent Wooden Santa

I've always loved this Santa.  He's so pretty!  He was made by the parents of my high school best friend, Gretchen.  Gretchen's dad passed away a couple years ago, just before the holidays.  This one always makes me think of her and her family.  *hugs*

Jingle Bell Cardinal

This one makes me think of our years at Ball State and all our great friends we met there.  So thankful that they are still in our life after all these years.

CHIRP!!!

There are many, many more ornaments that have special memories attached, but these are just a few that struck me this year (and that I could get a decent picture of!)  I wish I was a better photographer.  That's one of those things I'll add to my bucket-list: photography classes!

I sincerely hope you all had a wonderful, blessed, and very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Trying to get back on the horse

Yes, we're still here!  I'm trying to get back to blogging to share pics and stories with everyone.  I'm thinking of trying to do some videos, too.  :-)  It may take a few posts to get caught up, but we'll get there!  Until then, here's a quick teaser picture of one of the events I need to blog on . . . . . .ELI'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!!! 

Enjoy!  There will be more to come soon!